Sisterhood is this magical, invisible, powerful substance. It’s like fairy dust only there’s nothing fake about it, to the contrary it holds real power. Yet it’s not in every friendship or relationship.
So what is sisterhood exactly? Prior to today I would have related it to a series of moments with my girlfriends – outings, partying, running through life with little discretion as to where we were going but running, together, nonetheless which made all the difference. I now know that’s a hot steamy crock of shit.
Sisterhood isn’t characterized by moments, although you may remember a time where you felt the presence of sisterhood. It is the solidarity of women based on shared experiences, concerns and or beliefs. To take it one step further, sisterhood is first developed in the individual. As a result when these groups of individuals come together the collective is positively impacted. What do I mean by that? Well, it’s the overall development of the individual that helps foster a community brimming with sisterhood, it’s then that we are able to invite such an energy into the mix where ever we go!
When we grow in authenticity, develop compassion and exercise empathy towards others judgements begin to make way for more positive emotions and their associations. I’ve had many friends and unfortunately I’ve lost a good lot of them because I was steeped in self hate and criticism towards myself at the time. Naturally that’s the type of environment my friendships existed in, heavily competitive and heavily shallow, until I began to develop from the inside, out.
As I healed and grew patient with myself I was able to do the same for others, and you know what, I became acutely aware of how much pain most women and men are actually sifting through. That’s where the compassion came in, then vulnerability. I allowed myself to openly share the areas I didn’t feel so high and mighty – not with everyone, of course, but with women I felt the edgings of sisterhood with.
That’s when the healing happened! Once I was honest and shared my areas of underdevelopment these women began to build me up, with words of encouragement, with support, with truth and more. No, we’re not sitting around talking about our problems for endless hours at a time, we’re sharing our vulnerabilities in effort to say “hey, I can’t do it alone right now, I need a little help here and I need it from you!” That’s sisterhood! Developing through your pain enough to care to help another person. Once you get there, it’s on and popping.
At some point you might grow out of that sisterhood and into another one, that’s ok, growing is a part of life. What’s important is that you have the courage to receive the healing when it comes and return the favor.